try looking up "torque twist".
think of it this way. you are NOT supposed to be pushing the clay around. close your eyes. you are simply surrounding the clay so it cannot fly off the wheel while allowing it to form a ball stuck to the wheel. your hand is a steel claw containing the clay within a small space. a little pressure from the other hand, but not pushing it around will work with softer clay. you do not have to be a weight lifter.
hard clay is just punishing yourself.
Thank you! I'll try that today. I'm still having trouble.