Artsy Babble Translation Please

[docweathers 140]

 The curator for a major juried exhibit in our area was interviewed by our local paper.Here are a couple of quotes from the interview:

 

First, please translate these

 

 

1. " A striking example of an artist allowing her process to embrace the mismatched flaws of a digital program seeking perfection. "

 

 

2. " Yet, I feel the subject is something else entirely, maybe a reminder of the complexities of vision we take for granted as our mind seamlessly stitches the visual world back together."

 

Second, can anyone direct me to a treatise, tutorial or the like that would help one become competent in this dialect?

 

Though this stuff sounds like an artsy spin on psychobabble, I suspect that it is very important to describe your works to curators in this dialect if you want them to favor your work.

 

Seriously... any suggestions would be appreciated.

[Evelyne Schoenmann 264]

Seriously Gismo: do we need unintelligible sentences like these in the (art) world? When I read art critique like this, I get tooth ache.....

 

Evelyne

[bciskepottery 956]

http://www.pixmaven.com/phrase_generator.html

[Matt Oz 67]

[Evelyne Schoenmann 264]

33333 = It should be added that the optical suggestions of the spatial relationships endangers the devious simplicity of the remarkable handling of ljght.

 

Hilarious

[flowerdry 129]

I got this:

 

I find this work menacing/playful because of the way the optical suggestions of the figurative-narrative line-space matrix notates the substructure of critical thinking. 

 

I may actually have a piece of pottery that fits this description!

 

PS.  You have to click on http://www.pixmaven...._generator.html for this to make sense.

[Denice 511]

Wish I spoke art babble,  skipped that class in college thought it sounded boring it's actually quite amusing.  Denice

[Evelyne Schoenmann 264]

The carp (oooops, wrong spelling) critiques formed by the generator are actually addicting.....

[docweathers 140]

As much nonsense as this stuff is, I seriously believe that at some level it is a dialect that when addressed to curators, it will make them like your work better.  ... and thus include your work in their exhibits.     As Evelyne points out, these phrases are addicting and curators are serious addicts. You may do well to feed these gatekeeper's habit... if you want to become a famous artist. I would really like to find a systematic way to test this hypothesis

[GiselleNo5 485]

So, write an actual description if your work, then deconstruct it word by word with a Thesaurus in hand. Choose the word that is most high-falutin' (the opposite of what I just did there). It doesn't even have to make sense, really .... most artists'statements with this kind of language don't really make sense either.

[karenk 12]

......" embrace the mismatched flaws of a digital program..."

 

This quote conjures up  images of a sledged hammer mangled computer.

[PRankin 186]

I just spent the last 20 minutes punching in 5 digit numbers and reading all the responses and I think I'm beginning to understand it. I'll be ready for my next juried exhibit.

 

Paul

[docweathers 140]

I think it is sledged hammered language.

This thing has caught my interest. Attached is a pdf of the seminal
research on International Art English, IAE.  I think it is something that
artists, not just art critics, need to speak... If you want to talk to win
the favor of  the gatekeepers of the art world.

International Art English - Triple Canopy.pdf

International Art English - Triple Canopy.pdf

[Cavy Fire Studios 321]

I had a freaking awesome art instructor named Tom Askman who has the word for this speech:

Bloviation. Bloviating. Bloviate.

It's essentially using big, smart-people words to describe the vast impact of the cornucopia of nothing. That's Art with a capital "A" for you!!

Example:

Normal word: "Rabbit."

Bloviated rabbit:

*clears throat and puts on a beret with matching infinity scarf and sipping Starbucks*

"The creature we perceive as that of lagomorphic physicality in actuality goes beyond of mere human psychoanalytic ken; rather its presence stands as a keenly metaphoric balance between that which is to be preyed upon to sacrifice for the needs of the many, or the epic and eternal struggle for survival and procreation."

...

...LMFAO

[Bob Coyle 114]

Sad to say, we have a local art magazine here in Santa Fe that publishes critiques that are even less coherent than those created by the five digit generator.

[Cavy Fire Studios 321]

WAO.

What the heck are they speaking, Sanskrit??

[Chilly 638]

When I was an IT trainer/courseware writer I had a sticker on my monitor:  "Why use a big word when a diminutive expression will do?"  Perhaps it should have said "Why use one ordinary word when 35 mismatched words will do?"

 

Now I know why I'm not an artist.

[Matt Oz 67]

I must concretize this and give you an answer on an indeterminate date.

[Callie Beller Diesel 1,526]

Oh Ze Frank, how I love you!!! Thank you Matt, that made my day!

 

My first thought was also to post the crit generator, but many others were faster.

 

1. " A striking example of an artist allowing her process to embrace the mismatched flaws of a digital program seeking perfection. "

 

read, "The artist does not appear to be capable of looking past their method of working. The artist appears to be using a formula of some kind to get to an end result that a formula can't achieve."

(Also read, "I think this artist is barking up the wrong tree, and it's kind of funny to watch. In a non-hierarchical sense, of course.")

 

 

2. " Yet, I feel the subject is something else entirely, maybe a reminder of the complexities of vision we take for granted as our mind seamlessly stitches the visual world back together."

 

Read, "This reminds me of something. Gimme a minute....nope. Lost it."

(Also read, "That blotch reminds me I need to pick up milk and the drycleaning.")

 

Not all "critical writing" is critical in a useful way.

I too lack an MFA for a reason.

[Callie Beller Diesel 1,526]

Aaaand this is what the generator gave me for my (modified) birthday digits of 14176

 

"With regard to the issue of content, the reductive quality of the sexual signifier notates the essentially transitional quality."

[Evelyne Schoenmann 264]

I just spent the last 20 minutes punching in 5 digit numbers and reading all the responses and I think I'm beginning to understand it. I'll be ready for my next juried exhibit.

 

Paul

 

See?!! I told you it's addicting

 

Thanks to Gismo and bciske we all will be expert art babbling jurors in no time....

 

Evelyne

 

 

PS: I just read Diesel's translation of Gismo's first question. Now, Diesel, be a real friend and post that link to the "Art Babble Generator Translator" please!! ( )

[docweathers 140]

IAE sounds very similar of the "word salad" that bright schizophrenics
sometimes make. If you listen to them casually, it sounds like it makes
sense, but if you listen closely, you cannot make any sense of it.

Also, I was thinking about why some people look at these jabberings as a
form of wisdom and insight... think of the babbling of the Delphi Oracle or
the I Ching. Both provide a kind of wisdom/seeing like a Rorschach, by
loosening your cognitive structures so that you can more easily project
your own wisdom/insight/aesthetic appreciation on the subject.  So, maybe
critics do not describe the art but jumble our normal view of an object to
help us see it in a new way, in a way that we already knew but was not conscious... a la the I Ching.

Thus, instead of some IAE, a few lines from the I Ching might work as well.

I am working on a research project to test some of these ideas.

[Pres 1,776]

Even though it has been many years since I last read it, Fountainhead had several discussions of the tastes of the times including these bloated expressions of what is good and proper for society as opposed to the artistic expression of the individual. Even then, there is very little to say about a piece of work, interpreting the artists intent in so many words that say so little, that are so politically correct, innocuous, non threatening and un-contributing other than to raise the critique to an intellectual level that the critic creates a new piece of work in the critique itself. Exhausting!

[Callie Beller Diesel 1,526]

Sorry Evelyne, it's not a translator program. I'm fluent in rambling, semantics, blovification and I have a working knowledge of bull$hit.

[Min 1,986]

IAE sounds very similar of the "word salad" that bright schizophrenics

sometimes make. If you listen to them casually, it sounds like it makes

sense, but if you listen closely, you cannot make any sense of it.

 

Perhaps curators share a personality trait with schizophrenics. I wonder how receptive a curator fluent in jabbering would be to someone trying to have a discourse with them in the same dialect.